Thursday, May 2, 2013

Southern Sayings

I love getting into discussions with my parents. They use so many of those old sayings that I love. Southerners can't live without them. One of my favorites is, "He's about as useless as a screen door on a submarine". I'm not sure how many are famous and how many my parents and grandparents just made up. They are adjectives and they add color to any conversation. Here are some of my favorites:

1. He's as drunk as Cooter Brown ( I would love to know who Cooter Brown was).
2. Every dog has a few fleas (No one is perfect).
3. She's about as low as a toad in a dry well (She's lonely).
4. He's as crooked as a dog's hind leg.
5. We were so poor we didn't have a pot to pee in or a window to throw it out of.
6. I'll slap you naked and sell your clothes.
7. Every black crow thinks her baby is as white as snow.
8. You can lock the door on a thief but not a liar.
9. The wheel's still turning but the hamster is dead.
10. It's hotter than the hinges on the the gates of Hell.
11. He squeezes a quarter so tight the eagle screams.
12. She's two cards short of a full deck (I've used this so many times).
13. He doesn't know whether to check his butt or scratch his watch. 
14. There's a cypress stump in the swamp with a higher I.Q.
15. She's about as useful as a football bat. 

There are so many more..these are just a few that I could remember. 


  1. LOVE this. My family is from the northern part of the Midwest, but we are all Country. My granny used to always say that me and my brother wiggled around "like two farts in a hot skillet". When I moved allll the way down to South Florida I was so disappointed that everyone was constantly going "huh?" at me whenever I said something that I thought was normal. I say stuff to my husband constantly, (like "rarin' ta go") and he has no idea what I'm talking about. How do you explain something like that, lol!

  2. I love that!! "Two farts in a hot skillet" That is a great one!!

  3. Haha... this reminds me of my extended family in Illinois. Both of my parents grew up there, but they've been "city-ized" for too long, so for the real good down home sayings I have to make a trip to my aunts, uncles, and grandparents.

    Two of my favorites have cuss words in it... so feel free to delete ;) "she's built like a brick s**t house" (i haven't quite figured that one out, but I think it means solid)... and another is "there's 10 lbs of s**t in a five pound bag"

  4. I have actually heard some of these! I live in the South and gotta love it!

  5. Haha - this is great!! I think I'm going to have to use "the wheel's still turning but the hamster is dead." LOVE it. :)

  6. Ha! Never heard that saying, but love your post...